Loss of inspiration

 Initially my idea was based upon the fact that eating disorders were seen as a female issue. I wanted to display that men also have things they don’t like about their bodies, which seemed like quite a difficult subject to tackle as a lot of the time it can get brushed under the carpet. My aim was to photograph things that people feel conscious about as it would be interesting to see real people going through the struggle of covering up the things you don’t like about yourself. However, concerning models this idea became difficult to continue with as although everyone has insecurities it is not something everyone would be comfortable to get out in front of a camera. Which consequently made me feel quite stressed as the passion for my idea just was not there. This led to the decision to change my idea but with the struggle of what to change it to. It wasn’t until a refresher lesson with Chris Overend when we worked in getting images of the same face but overlapping by making the shutter speed lower. It spurred the idea of looking into split personalities as these kinds of images would be a great representation of the concept. When I did art in sixth form ‘split personalities’ were something that interested me and an artist called Jeff Huntington as a lot of the portraits he paints display multiple personalities.

The aim of the images that come from this project are to help people visualise the struggle that some people actually deal with.  I want the images to be effective and breath taking as they would be a good addition to my portfolio. This idea is more interesting to me and has more passion in it as I am interested to see the different sides to it. The style of photography and art I looked at is very real and hard hitting as it denotes multiple personality disorders.

Having made a schedule it did worry me as I struggle to follow plans which is why I avoid making in depth plans. Time management is not something I struggle with as I have been able to work on during the course due to how fast passed it can be when the deadlines approach quite quickly. However, this does not mean that I am able to stay on track with my schedule all of the time as things can get in the way which is inevitable. I have already faced a setback in my schedule due to a change of idea.

Overcomplicating things is something I struggle with as when it comes to projects I always set myself multiple tasks to complete instead of focusing on one big task in depth. This tends to stress me out which is something I want to avoid doing with my final major project. From my mentor sessions, I can recognise that it is important to not focus on the outcome and to concentrate on getting test shoots done whilst doing lots of research helps to develop your idea more as you get a feel of what you do and don’t like about the idea. It is important to remind yourself that it is just the process of getting the work done that stresses you out not the outcome as the outcome will be the best part of the project as you will be able to look back and appreciate all of the hard work you have put into it.

When it came to my idea I decided it was very important to get test shooting to get a feel of my idea as I wanted to make sure I am able to set up the lighting. Although most projects require a big team of creatives to help there is always a risk of unreliability which is not something I want to face so I am going to ensure that my team is small and only including reliable people. This will help to ensure that the end result it of the standard I plan for It to be. This will also help when it comes to photoshoots as it overcomplicates things when you are in the studios as it gets too busy and crowded. It has been advised that you should have few people in the studio to avoid any accidents as the equipment is very heavy and could do lots of damage.

The direction of this project has already changed a number of times due to lack of interest and motivation but now I have an idea I am more interested in it should come easier for me. However, depending on if my test shoots go well my idea could develop further and progress further as I will be able to picture the kind of end result I may end up with. Also could document the process in a blog which I could carry on to use at the end of my studies in order to promote my work and freelance business.